Friedrich Nietzsche said that human beings fool themselves to orient towards the future.Â
We tend to rationalize our sub-optimal choices in order to keep debilitating emotions at bay, and move forward with our lives.Â
âMy children were meant to be bornâ utters one woman with an otherwise unhappy marriage.
âIt pays wellâ utters another with a grossly unsatisfying job.Â
âIf <undesirable event> didnât happen, then I wouldnât be who I am todayâ, says another.Â
Of course, things are for the most part, never perfect, and perhaps there is some utility in the deterministic world view that life happens to you, and by accepting this rather than fighting it, we can align expectations with reality and be more content.Â
But doing so also renders us likely to lead a very mediocre and unfulfilling life, and given that we only get one life (as best as we can tell), is this how we want to spend it?Â
We might never reach the peak of the mountain, but by virtue of reaching for it weâre more likely to have a more fulfilling experience of life than if we forever sat at the foot of the mountain by the relative safety and warmth of a campfire.Â
The world is full of people who decided to do exactly that. Settle. Rationalize. Accept.Â
And if you take their advice, you risk doing the same.Â
Misery loves company, and advice is often a representation of peopleâs own rationalized life choices.Â
Kanye West recently told Joe Rogan that âIâm gonna listen to kids before I listen to super programmed-out adults, and especially if that adult hasnât done something that I am looking to doâ.
Adults are indeed for the most part âprogrammed outâ. Theyâve long given up on their dreams. Theyâve settled for a mediocre suburban reality, they stay in their lane and they donât take risks.Â
As a result, they find themselves in what Theodore Roosevelt called that cold and timid place where souls know neither victory nor defeat.Â
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So before you take the advice of someone, ask yourself the following:
If not, then you might want to tread carefully before taking their advice on face value and basing your lifeâs big decisions off it. You might also want to seek out people who do model the way you want to live and the things you want to do.Â
Steve Glaveski is on a mission to unlock your potential to do your best work and live your best life. He is the founder of innovation accelerator, Collective Campus, author of several books, including Employee to Entrepreneur and Time Rich, and productivity contributor for Harvard Business Review. Heâs a chronic autodidact and is into everything from 80s metal and high-intensity workouts to attempting to surf and hold a warrior three pose.